I have been experiencing some pain in the right side of my abdomen, exactly where I suspect my liver is. I find myself rubbing or massaging the area; it's getting to be a habit. I am quite scared but still I keep drinking. Why?!
I met with the local vicar yesterday for coffee. Nice chap. He knows about my drinking problem and is praying for me. I need him to pray harder! I feel I am not long for this world.
Wednesday 29 April 2015
Thursday 23 April 2015
Day 1
This is my first post and it may also be the last. When it comes to trying to control my alcohol consumption I have a habit of giving up. So far, my liver has proved stronger than that. But I have recently been experiencing worrying symptoms. I need to get control.
To give you some background, I am 41, have cerebral palsy, depression and anxiety. I had my first drink aged 17 and have been on a slippery slope ever since. My father died ten years ago of alcoholism aged 60 and my younger brother nearly died of it a few years ago. Somehow, he has managed to give up the booze. He doesn't seem to struggle with it and I feel quite envious of that.
I live in Southern England. Last week I took a week's holiday to Llandudno, North Wales. I had a great time and being away from home allowed me to get a different perspective on my life. Upon my return I was struck with the realisation of just how empty, lonely and bleak my everyday life had become. Little wonder then that I drink to block out the bleakness. My usual intake is about half a litre of vodka with lemonade per evening. I normally pass out at some point and awaken in the early hours. It only compounds my depression and anxiety. Sometimes I can go two days without booze. Yesterday I was very hungover and didn't drink that evening.
To give you some background, I am 41, have cerebral palsy, depression and anxiety. I had my first drink aged 17 and have been on a slippery slope ever since. My father died ten years ago of alcoholism aged 60 and my younger brother nearly died of it a few years ago. Somehow, he has managed to give up the booze. He doesn't seem to struggle with it and I feel quite envious of that.
I live in Southern England. Last week I took a week's holiday to Llandudno, North Wales. I had a great time and being away from home allowed me to get a different perspective on my life. Upon my return I was struck with the realisation of just how empty, lonely and bleak my everyday life had become. Little wonder then that I drink to block out the bleakness. My usual intake is about half a litre of vodka with lemonade per evening. I normally pass out at some point and awaken in the early hours. It only compounds my depression and anxiety. Sometimes I can go two days without booze. Yesterday I was very hungover and didn't drink that evening.
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